so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
