the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
