i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
