ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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