$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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