Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I will pee on everything he values.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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