Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
