I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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