i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
