Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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