I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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