What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
