Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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