Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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