We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
