mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
