I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
