oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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