I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i will never coherently bang her
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
