Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
