i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
