is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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