the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
