just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
