Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
