Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It's Friday. Sex?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
