i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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