I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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