sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
