hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
