It's a beautiful day for a hangover
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
