All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
