yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
