She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
