do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the day after is always just damage control
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
