Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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