Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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