I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize