based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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