I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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