You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
