You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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