drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
