Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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