Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
