oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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