OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
