I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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