you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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