I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
