i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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