Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
